I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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