the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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