We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
