It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
