sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
