Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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