question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I forget how to act sober
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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