I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
