I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
