yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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