so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
