"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
