So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
