Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
