it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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