I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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