my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
