We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
