I accidentally burped into my bong.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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