The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
