I need help removing her.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
