belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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