it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize