I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
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why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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