even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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