naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
