You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize