Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
