I love black thongs
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
