so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
