I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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