Porn is love you can see.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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