go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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