I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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