mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have aggressive nipples.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
