I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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