i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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