I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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