Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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