the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
