i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
