Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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