new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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