she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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