hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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