The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
