Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
