He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
