he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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