**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
