No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
