We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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