Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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