i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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