Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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