Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
