Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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