i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
