K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
