this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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