what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
