i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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