I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
