That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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