we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
