So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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