I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
