That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
