So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
