He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
