Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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