Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize