It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
