we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
