Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
