I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
