Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
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In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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