You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
