Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
